Written by John Face
October 3, 2023
My Story in Honor of my Beloved Mother, Joyce
I was just 15 years old in late 1975, a sophomore in high school, and I had no idea what breast cancer was. I recall Mom and Dad sitting my brother and I down, telling us precisely what she had. Cancer in her breast and that they were going to do surgery and have to remove it. I do remember asking her if she would be OK. She just sat there and smiled briefly, telling us all would be good afterward.
I didn’t believe her. Hell, all I knew about cancer was everyone died when they had it. Now my Mom has it, and I was scared. I remember crying in bed that night, and somehow, Mom knew and came in and held my hand. Whispering as she stroked my hair, “We are going to be OK, Johnny.”
The Day of the operation was long, and the most memorable moment was when Doctor Spencer came out and said it went well and Mom was doing fine. It would be an hour or so longer before we finally saw her. She had a tube in her chest and was obviously in pain, yet she still smiled and kissed us.
A Troubled Childhood, Learning to Cope
For those who never figured it out, I suffered from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Thankfully for me, Dr. Miriam diagnosed me early enough, and I received the treatment needed to function and become a stellar student in high school. But still, I had moments where my brain was scrambled, and I would also have anxiety. This period with my Mom was one of the most stressful in my young life, and my ADHD drugs finally failed me.
I will Help You Kick His Ass
The Day after her surgery, my brother Russ and I returned to school; in hindsight, I should not have been sent back. I was still upset and shared what had happened with a friend in the gym locker room. He put his hand on my shoulder and said it would be alright, and we headed to the basketball court for gym class.
Unknown to me, one of the other students in the class had overheard our conversation and, while playing 5 on 5 basketball, walked past me, asked how my one-titty Mom was doing, and then laughed. I hit him twice and put him on the floor. My friend Lolo stopped me from doing more damage and dragged me to the locker room, hoping nothing would come of it.
We sat there as Lolo told me if that coach came over, deny it happened. He agreed what was said to me was wrong, and hell, he said he would help me kick his ass after school for saying it. But my brain, rage, fear, everything pulsed through my veins. I wanted revenge, and I wanted it now. That wouldn’t happen as coach Shill came around the corner and asked, “Face, is this over?” I looked up and said, “No, I will be waiting for him in the hallway after class; I’m going to kick his ass.” Lolo groaned.
I was on my way to see Mr. Nichols. Walt looked at me, so disappointed. I had done well since the 8th grade with no suspensions or fights. He said he would forget this if not for the school’s zero tolerance of no fighting. He said, “You gave coach Shilling and Britner no choice.”
He called Dad, who came from Harrington School, and I figured I was in trouble. Walt apologized to Dad, I’m so sorry for doing this, Russ. Dad told him not to worry about it. We walked to the car in front of the school, and Dad said nothing. Once in the front seat, he looked forward momentarily and asked, “How about we go see how Momma is doing?”
Mom was saddened to see me but not upset. Dad left and went back to work, and I spent the rest of the Day at the Albion Hospital with her. That helped. Doctor Spencer came in and explained about the radiation treatment she would get in Battle Creek. He tried explaining the machine to me, which seemed a little scary.
I spent the next few days home, and Mom finally came home. Her struggle was difficult; hell, it was called a radical mastectomy for good reason; they took everything around her breast. She started her radiation several times a week, and I was curious and worried about what they were doing to her. She had rehab that made her look like Wonder Woman because she was strong and never gave up.
The Big Machine, a Woman Ahead of Her Time
One Day, she came home and told me she would take my brother and I to her treatment to see her inside the big machine. The appointment was early in the morning. As we drove, we snacked on a donut from the bakery downtown.
We walked into the X-ray department, and they took us back. I heard the Tech whispering to Mom, asking, “Are you sure, Joyce?” Mom was in the dressing room briefly and came out wearing a gown. I was in the control room as the Tech placed Mom on the table of this machine; that was impressive. Mom laid down, and the Tech joined me.
She started to explain what was happening as this machine swallowed up Mom. She said all the noise was normal, as we were aiming radiation at where the cancer was. The Tech was so kind. She could tell I was scared and made sure she explained everything to a 15-year-old who was terrified for his Mom.
To my surprise, the treatment took just a few minutes. The Tech went in to help Mom sit up when I noticed they talked for a while. The Tech came back to the control room and said Mom wanted me to come to her. We went in and around to the front of my Mom. She looked at me, and a sheet around her shoulder covered her.
She said, “Honey, I know you have been scared these last few weeks, and there is nothing I can tell you that can make you better. So I decided I want you to see this. I thought if you see it, you will be less scared.” It was then the sheet slid to the floor.
I saw the scars, the missing breast, and her missing the upper part of her arm. It didn’t scare me at all. I asked the Tech what was all the ink marks for. She said they marked where the radiation would go. Mom said, “It doesn’t hurt anymore, Johnny; I am going to be OK”. The Tech told me as Mom dressed, the family rarely comes back for radiation treatments, let alone young men. She told me she was glad my Mom allowed her to participate. My Mom was ahead of her time.
Bravest Woman, I Have Ever Known
As you figured out by now, this wasn’t the typical survivor story. Cancer is an evil that families deal with in their ways. I was lucky that I had loving parents and siblings so we could lean on each other. I realized my Mom was superhuman during her fight with cancer. Hell, she lived for decades as a survivor and was proud of that.
I grew up and would eventually understand what she did was amazing and brave. I love my dear mother; Every Day, I think of her. Every Day, I miss her. Every Day, I remember how she taught me how to face the world’s evils.
Joyce Face
Wonder Woman
Love you Mom
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